Anxiety

I'm taking Adrienne to the doctor today for a well visit, to get a check-up before she really starts working out this summer. (She's really raring to go on the exercise, which is so fantastic!)

I'm feeling a little anxious about it. Do I tell her doctor--a beautiful, thin, fit woman--that I'm training for a triathlon and Adrienne is interested in training with me? Will she laugh? Will she look at my gigantic body and shake her head?

I can already hear the excuses in my head. "I know it doesn't look like I'm training..."

I'm steeling myself now to not make any excuses for myself--or negate my efforts with some depreciating comment about my weight. I do that, you know. Put myself down before anyone else has the chance. I think it's the Jolly-Fat-Girl Syndrom. Make them laugh so they don't hate you for being so huge.

Then we're going to lunch with my dad, and to the YMCA. My first weight training session, using that plan I talked about yesterday. I'll let you know how it goes!