Once Upon a Fat Girl

Sunday, October 22, 2006

Seeds of Change

Kevin said something to me yesterday morning that I can't shake. He lifted Ruby out of her crib just before he left for work and said, "I haven't picked her up in three days."

What the hell are we doing? Really. Kevin is working himself ragged at one full time and one three quarters time job. Wednesday through Saturday we see him for about ten minutes on his way out the door. When the big kids were in school, they didn't see him at all on those days. He leaves for work at 10 a.m. and comes home the next morning at 3 a.m., sleeps six hours and does it all again. He's so tired by his days off that he has to sleep most of the day. And he can't throw off his schedule, so he's awake while we're sleeping.

He's doing this so that we can get out of debt. But I just feel...it's such an enormous sacrifice...it has to mean something. It can't be just to get out of debt so that we can jump right back into it. If he were to do this until we were entirely out of debt, this would go on for at least another year. Until Ruby is three.

And then what?

I saw this piece on Nightline (I think...it was one of those primetime news shows) about families who sell everything and spend all their time traveling around the country in RVs, campers, converted buses, whatever. The family I saw calls themselves the Barenaked Family. They have stripped their lives down to the barenaked essentials.

Anyway, I watched this and I was jealous. That dad doesn't work 70 hour weeks. That family doesn't go days without eating together or seeing each other. They aren't all so exhausted and overwhelmed that they are at each other's throats every spare minute.

I want to do this. Maybe not long term, like this family. They've been doing it five years. But the idea of getting entirely out of debt and then, before we buy a house, spending a year traveling the country in an RV with Kevin and the kids is so hugely appealing. What an adventure! Besides, that way we could really decide where we want to live. The whole country would open up to us.

I remember when I was a reporter in Battle Mountain this family came through that was doing some sort of covered wagon pilgrimage. I loved the idea. I love thinking about meeting up with other traveling families and making friends all over the country. I love LOVE the idea of actually seeing Mount Rushmore, New York City, China Town, Vermont in the fall, the Kansas plains. The whole country.

The first thing I'd want to do is something that's been percolating in my brain for a while. My very favorite ride at Disneyland is Soaring Over California. I love that thing! I'm a native Californian, so it makes me feel a little nostalgic I guess. But mostly it's amazement at the diversity of California. Anyway--I'd LOVE to start in Southern California and go to all the places Soaring Over California shows. There's Yosemite, Napa Valley, San Francisco, Malibu, Palm Springs and a bunch of other places that I can't remember right now.

I'm all excited right now. Kevin is starting a two week vacation and I'm going to plant this seed with him. (um...hi Kevin...is the seed growing yet? LMAO)


Anonymous Anonymous said...

If you like the lady with the homeschooling method but take the bible out, it is destined to fail.
For some weird reason I like reading your blog. You are a great writer, I even like some of your ideas. You are also very funny, smart, and creative, but I feel deep compassion for you. I know what your problem is...you are always searching for answers.
St. Augustine wants said, the soul is always searching until it finds God. You will never find peace and happiness, until you find God.

God bless you Shaunta, I think you will find him someday, you seem determined!!

Knock and the door will be opened, seek you will find!

7:24 AM  
Blogger Shaunta said...

Thank you for your support. I'm not actually looking for God, because I don't think he's lost. I just don't believe that he's reserved for Christians. But thanks for looking out for me. :)

9:38 AM  

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