Have You Ever Had Your Life Just...

Explode? Have you ever just gotten so busy all of a sudden with a thousand different things, that you can't get a handle on any of it.

That's my life right now.

First, we went to Ely and then I went back to take Adrienne to stay with her grandparents. She chickened out. I expected it, but hoped it wouldn't happen. I wanted her to have an adventure. I wanted her to be brave enough. It just didn't happen. As soon as she got the nerve to tell me (after a 4 hour drive) that she wanted to come home with us, she tangibly relaxed. My uptight little girl.

So, we're ready to move. I applied with the school district to be a substitute teacher and a substitute aide. The goal is to be all finger printed and checked out so that when a regular position opens, I can slide in and get some health insurance. Kevin was told by the casino owner that whenever he can get out there, he has a job. A good job.

But--apparently northeastern Nevada controls it's population by not having ANY place for newbies to live. Seriously. We were prepared to move October 1. We can't, because we can not find anywhere to live. This is the most frustrating thing I've dealt with in quite a long time. We tried to buy a house and ran up against a big fat catch-22. To buy a house in Ely using our Vegas income, we have to have the money to prove that we can work here and still maintain a house in Ely. To qualify with what we'd earn in Ely, we have to have paycheck stubs. Which we can't get because we have no where to live.

Sigh.

So we put in an application with the apartment complex. And we left a check with my family out there. Soon as something comes up, we're giving the appropriate notices and we are so out of here. We're packing. We're ready to not be here anymore.

So meantime, I've been trying to find an agent for my novel. No luck. A bunch of form rejections that are fairly soul crushing. And then I get this email:

Congratulations! You are a finalist in the Ticket To Write Contest!

Your manuscript, Devil You Don't, will be mailed this week to Keyren Gerlach, of Harlequin. Winners will be announced October 14th at our annual conference.

Um. Oh. My. God.

A publisher is reading my book. (Okay, the first 30 pages of my book--but DAMN!) I can rewrite my query and say that my book is a finalist. I feel like standing on my roof and screaming "They liked my book! They really liked my book!!!"

Now. I'm not sure that my book is right for Harlequin. I didn't write with them in mind. I didn't follow their formula. But--dude, she's reading it. She's judging it. My book doesn't suck! Oh yeah. YEAH!

So. Best case senario--I get published, get to move to my little mountain town. Maybe into the house I saw this last weekend that has a 50s kitchen with pink metal cabinets and turquoise formica counters--and an entire acre of woods for a backyard. My kids get to transfer from one of the worst school districts in the US to the best school district in Nevada. I'm not big on the No Child Left Behind tests...but if I have a choice I'd rather send my kids to an exemplory school than a "Needs Improvement" school. Wouldn't you?

In the middle of all this, I'm on the verge of binging again. Not full on binges. But I've backslid on my progress toward eating when I'm hungry and not when I'm full. My weight has maintained--so I'm not panicked. I just have SO much going on. And my brain is going back to the food=stress relief way of thinking. Need to get a handle on that. Really.

Man. Life is weird.